This Blog is a tribute to my sister who died in 2006. My sister had Down Syndrome and died at the age of 56. She suffered for three years before she died with a combination of Parkinsons Disease, seizures and dimentia. She has left us but her legacy of love lives on in the lives of her family and friends.
Teresa Ann Cassidy
The Perfect Soul... Jan. 27th, 1950 - Aug. 2nd. 2006
My Sister's Eulogy
8/4/06
Eulogy Speech for Teresa Ann Cassidy
Written by Noreen Cassidy Lazariuk
Thank you everyone for coming.
No one looks forward to a funeral. Death does remind us of how precious everyone in our life is. I feel so fortunate to have all of you here to support us as we grieve. My sister, the perfect soul in an imperfect body. As a child I always questioned why God made Teresa different. Why her? Why us? I chalked it up to one of life’s mysteries. As I grew up, there was no mystery. Teresa was a special gift to our family. We were chosen by God. Chosen by God because he knew what good care we would take of her. How we would protect her and giver her the best, most normal life. It’s ironic looking back at the frustration of my early years because I now see Teresa as the perfect one… the rest of us with flaws. God gave Teresa to us… Teresa in turn gave us many gifts. Gifts of endless love and joy.
In our journey through life Teresa lightened the load. She was pure love, God’s love on earth. I realize that being different was not a cross for her to bear, but was really a burden free life. She was always happy. I am certain that Teresa is in heaven. The perfect soul with God, and a perfect understanding of the world. I also see why God made her #1 in a series of 8 children. She was a natural leader for our family in all her deeds. She set a great example for all of us to follow. As our family grew, there were more people to love Teresa and more people for Teresa to give.
The following quote from Mother Teresa describes Teresa’s example of love and kindness. “Spread love everywhere you go; first of in your own house give love to your children, to your wife or husband, to the next door neighbor…, let no-one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the loving expression of God’s kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes; kindness in your smile, and kindness in your warm greeting’. Teresa always had a warm smile to greet you with. Teresa loved without condition. Whenever you returned home or came for a visit, Teresa was always happy to see you and anxious to talk. She loved to share what happened in her life. You knew when she got paid, what she did at her center that day… Whatever was new in her life. It didn’t really matter what the topic was, she just wanted to connect with you. She connected with each of us in different ways. With my siblings, it was a high five, a joke, teasing back and forth… with me it was a proud statement, “that’s my sister, right mom”! She was proud of me. What more does anyone need to face the world with confidence. For others it was the honor of being known as her pal.
Another of my sister’s gifts was her laughter. She loved to laugh and joke around. In fact, no-one enjoyed April’s fools day as much as Teresa. The most memorable Aprils fools’ day started as any typical day in our home. Everyone was rushing about eating breakfast and getting ready for the day. Teresa casually walked over o the kitchen window over-looking our driveway and said, “Michael, you have a flat tire”? Unsuspecting Michael rushed out the door only to find 4 fully inflated tires. As he walked back into the house Teresa was waiting to greet him with a resounding April fool! Needless to say, Teresa’s unprovoked, pre-meditated attack that day gave us all new found respect for her pranking skills. After all this was a major step up from her old stand by, “see that made you look and why did the chicken cross the road”?
She did love to laugh. Whether it was a belly laugh watching the three stooges, or laughing with everyone at the dinner table. She made my brother Tim laugh with her special threat for him. “See my finger, see my thumb, watch out fist, here it comes. “ A true Cassidy! A story that sill always makes us laugh is back when Susan was left in charge of the rest of us while my parents went to a movie. This didn’t happen very often, and for good reason. Everyone didn’t see eye to eye. And let’s just say that things may have gotten a little bit out of control. As my parent’s car pulled into the driveway all things quickly returned to an acceptable state. Everyone was quiet as my parents entered the kitchen. Teresa being my parents eyes and ears in my their absence, immediately reported the most serious infraction… “Dennis said a bad word to Susan”! No-one anticipated that. And I’m not going to repeat the word.
Teresa had innocence about her. She believed in the best of everyone and everything. I chaperoned a field trip at her center to Radio City Music Hall for the Christmas show. We were settled in our seats waiting for the show to start. The show started in dramatic fashion with Santa flying over-head in his sled. It was pretty cool. As Santa flew overhead with a bellowing Ho!Ho!Ho!, Teresa just said, “Santa”! She recognized him as a child would. It was a look of joy on her face and the magic of hope in her voice that I will never forget! It remains as one of my fondest memories. She was so proud to introduce her sister to everyone that day. That eternal innocence was Teresa’s magic gift to us teaching us that we always have hope and to dream.
Anything Teresa had was yours for the asking. If anyone was overheard talking about needing money, Teresa would slip away and return with her wallet. She would offer you any cash she had in hopes of being able to help. She had no concept of money amounts, but she always offered everything she had. She was even generous enough to share her favorite chocolate. Unlike her money, the chocolate she did keep a back up reserve of tucked away in her drawer. Teresa gave us the gift of generosity and sharing.
The gift of patience. This one can be summed up easily. Teresa and I shared a room for 18 years. For those of you who didn’t know my sister, she was extremely clean and neat. Everything had to be perfect. She would take up to 30 minutes to make her bed because it had to be perfect. Everything was always in order and organized. For those of you who know me…I’m not quite that neat. Teresa was very patient.
I also struggled with the mystery of why God took Teresa from us. Not just that he took her, but the way that she changed over the last few years. Maybe it’s not one of life’s mysteries. Maybe when you take something so great from the world you give people time to think about it. Not suddenly and shockingly. Maybe Teresa knew what was best for us. She waited for everyone on Tuesday.
In closing I would like to summarize what Teresa’s life lessons to us were!
· That everyone is important
· That nothing is more important than the moment your in
· To forgive and forget
· To do your best
· To share freely
· Keep giving love to those around you
· To dance
· Enjoy music
· And all you need is love
If Teresa could be here she would want to comfort us. In her heavenly wisdom, she would explain that our grief is like a wound. It’s like being badly hurt. You will grieve and it is painful, but the pain is part of the healing process, be open to the pain of your broken heart. God enters through its brokenness. We have to let ourselves heal because Teresa would want it that way. Teresa remains with us through spirit, our prayers, and memories. We can call upon all of Teresa’s generous gifts to help us heal. My Dad told Teresa over and over again, “You’re the best!” So finally, borrowing a line from Tina Turner, and (I’m sure Teresa would approve), your simply the best, better than all the rest, better than anyone, anyone I’ll ever meet.
Thank You.
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